How to Talk to an Angry Teenager

It’s well known that the teen years are the most trying time for parents. It may seem like their rebellion is personal. Or, that they’re determined to make your home life miserable. But, in reality, this is a natural process. Your teenager is maturing in a physical and emotional way, and their brain is still developing. When their frontal cortex develops in a few years, you will see a different person. Until that time, talking to them can feel almost impossible. Here are some tips for talking to your angry teen from an online therapist for teens in Atlanta, GA.

Adapt Your Parenting Style

If you have an authoritarian parenting style, you’ll need to reexamine its effectiveness. An authoritarian method of parenting will cause you to butt heads with your teen. This creates power struggles and leads to increased anger and a lack of resolution. Adapting your style to more of an authoritative style will get better reactions. The authoritarian parenting style is effective at emphasizing authority and order. But, it loses effectiveness when eliminating choice and negotiation from the relationship. An authoritative parent explains their reasoning. They will give consequences while taking their child’s feelings and other circumstances into consideration. Overall, they put a great deal of effort into the relationship they’re developing with their child. Remember, they already know you are the parent. Your leadership doesn’t only rest on your position but on your ability to persuade.

Frame the Conversation

When it’s time to have a conversation with your teen, first frame the conversation so they know that you’re not angry. If they think you’re angry, they’re more likely to get defensive or shut down. Because they’re unable to have full control of their emotions or foresee the consequences of their behavior, they’re very reactive and will immediately become irrationally angry. To avoid this, let them know that you’re irritated, disappointed, or upset. But, remind them that you’re not angry with them. Anger breeds anger and puts others on defense. Drilling down into your anger’s “root emotions,” such as disappointment, for example, allows your teen to see that your feelings aren’t threatening to them. As a result, they will be able to see that your concern is rooted in love rather than rejection or dislike.

Listen

Overall, it’s important to keep lines of communication open with your teen. You can turn anger into dialogue by making an effort to listen to and understand your teen. Doing so can help ensure that you heard them and understand their feelings. Trying to give advice or enforce rules can break communication down when you need it to stay open.

Your teen is trying to figure out their identity as they go through many hormonal, growth, and development changes that are out of their control. Understand that their anger is about asserting themselves or trying to separate themselves as an individual. This is a difficult time, and your teen needs empathy. Stay your child’s safe and secure base, so when they’ve calmed down or are growing out of this phase, they know where to come back.

Begin Working with An Online Therapist for Teens in Atlanta, GA

If you’re a parent having a difficult time with a teenager, a licensed therapist can offer support and guidance for both of you. Get in contact with our Atlanta, GA-based office today so we can set up a time to talk. You can start your therapy journey by following these simple steps:

1. Contact us to schedule an appointment
2. Meet with one of our caring therapists
3. Start receiving the support you and your teen deserve